I’ve been having a difficult week, especially on Tuesday. Although I pray daily to forget things that have happened in the past, satan loves throwing sin in my face and I stupidly allow myself to get sunken down into memories that I have already handed to Jesus. I was reminded of broken promises, stolen innocence, frailty, and temptations that I was just too weak to resist. I was emotionally draining myself for no reason over things that I’ll never be proud of, but that Jesus had already forgiven. Things I need to forget.

I just turned my radio on in hopes it would overpower my thoughts. Through music and worship, I have experienced God in ways that words could never describe, it’s when I feel closest and most connected to Him and accordingly, He used a song to show me His love once again. (The Hurt & The Healer, by Mercyme)

It took once verse to completely vanish those thoughts from my mind. “I’m alive, even though a part of me has died” It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I began to replace those hurtful memories with rejoice in the fact that I’m alive, even though the past had me in a chokehold, even though the past killed many things inside of me that pertained to God, even though satan attempts to kill my faith everyday and remind me of what I used to be…….I’m still alive! That’s what the cross is all about, Jesus died so that I could live, and he took my brokeness, and he took my death along with him, so that I could have the opportunity to live again. “Take this heart and bring it back to life” and that’s exactly what God does, He takes these days and my broken heart and as soon as I allow Him to grab hold of it, He brings me back to life and I’m whole again.

I thank God for letting that old me die, and I will serve Him with all that I have to give. My entire, new, alive self is His now. I can be a foolish girl sometimes, but there’s no denying that I’m so crazy in love with my God, and He still isn’t finished with me yet! What a beautiful song, and an even more beautiful God that I worship!