And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams. (Acts 2:17)
The Lord is near! The days are getting closer and closer to His arrival. I read this verse above, and couldn’t help but think of the dreams and visions that I have been having since Friday. I’m a strong believer that most dreams are the Lord speaking to you. This week I have had dreams and visions of Jesus carrying a lamb during a world controlled by the antichrist and false religion, another dream in which I was pregnant with sin and the Lord spoke to me and said that the burden of sin was heavy, like a child in a mother’s womb but that He would help me through it, and even a dream I had in which I was being tempted to go back to a hurtful person in my past but a bird (whom to my understanding represents the Holy Spirit) was pulling me away from that person and convincing me that they were no good. Intense stuff, like stuff you only read in the bible! I have spoken to several wise elders in the church and have shared my dreams this past week, and all they do is confirm them or interpret them for me and just confirm what was on my heart about them. I have even started to journal them and want to look more into them, and see what other things may represent and gain more knowledge as to interpret them. I feel pretty blessed that God is speaking to me in this way, and showing His purpose in my life, love and grace towards me, and even answering many questions I’ve had on my heart for a while. All of this, through dreams and visions. Wow. :)
Wow, I was definitely touched and spoken to at bible study tonight!
So in love with my Saviour!
I’ve been having a difficult week, especially on Tuesday. Although I pray daily to forget things that have happened in the past, satan loves throwing sin in my face and I stupidly allow myself to get sunken down into memories that I have already handed to Jesus. I was reminded of broken promises, stolen innocence, frailty, and temptations that I was just too weak to resist. I was emotionally draining myself for no reason over things that I’ll never be proud of, but that Jesus had already forgiven. Things I need to forget.
I just turned my radio on in hopes it would overpower my thoughts. Through music and worship, I have experienced God in ways that words could never describe, it’s when I feel closest and most connected to Him and accordingly, He used a song to show me His love once again. (The Hurt & The Healer, by Mercyme)
It took once verse to completely vanish those thoughts from my mind. “I’m alive, even though a part of me has died” It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I began to replace those hurtful memories with rejoice in the fact that I’m alive, even though the past had me in a chokehold, even though the past killed many things inside of me that pertained to God, even though satan attempts to kill my faith everyday and remind me of what I used to be…….I’m still alive! That’s what the cross is all about, Jesus died so that I could live, and he took my brokeness, and he took my death along with him, so that I could have the opportunity to live again. “Take this heart and bring it back to life” and that’s exactly what God does, He takes these days and my broken heart and as soon as I allow Him to grab hold of it, He brings me back to life and I’m whole again.
I thank God for letting that old me die, and I will serve Him with all that I have to give. My entire, new, alive self is His now. I can be a foolish girl sometimes, but there’s no denying that I’m so crazy in love with my God, and He still isn’t finished with me yet! What a beautiful song, and an even more beautiful God that I worship!
If you’ve ever seen A Walk to Remember, then you’ve probably heard one of my personal favorite quotes where Mandy Moore says, “Maybe God has a bigger plan for me, than I had for myself”
This quote has always touched my heart because it reminds me that God is so powerful, so smart, and so great. He sees more than I ever will, He knows me better than I know myself, He knows when to give and when to take away, and He is so for me. God is for me, how beautiful is that?!
Many times though, I forget that. I often underestimate Him or am so ungrateful towards His plan for my life. I forget that I’m not in control, and I tend to turn a bit into Jacob. If you’ve ever read (Genesis 29) you know that Jacob was one of the most romantic males from the bible. He worked a total of fourteen years just to marry the love of his life Rachel. You also read that after the first seven, he was deceivingly married to Leah. He stuck with Leah, only to get Rachel.
Figuratively speaking, many times I ask God for a Rachel, I pray and pray for these beautiful, wonderful, and one of a kind things for my life, only to end up with a Leah, something less attractive, less satisfying, and ugly. For me at least.
Jacob saw Leah as something unwanted in his life, and saw Rachel as the ultimate blessing for his life. It wasn’t until Rachel became barren, and Leah became pregnant that Jacob recognized the purpose of Leah in his life. He learned that he had to remain faithful and love the ‘least’ that God gave Him, until He could love something much bigger.
When I look at the story in this way, especially with Mandy’s quote in mind it helps me realize even more that I have to remain happy, and faithful with what God has given me, or what He hasn’t give me. Jacob underestimated Leah and was ungrateful towards her until he saw the beauty in her purpose. Leah became the woman who bore many great descendants, including Jesus, beauty and love himself.
We may underestimate God at times but something great, and beautiful will come from your Leah, your unwanted situations and obstacles, but remember that God has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves. His plan will be fruitful, it will reproduce and bring forth beauty and blessings. Learn how to love and remain faithful to your “Leah” so God can bless you with your “Rachel”, stay strong and preservere.
I just had the biggest heart to heart with one of my cousins. I let out a lot, and I also witnessed to her through that. This cousin is more like a sister, and although we both grew up in Christian households, we took two different paths in life once we got to our teens. I decided on the long term one boyfriend kinda path, and she chose the guy after guy one, which in the end still concluded that whichever path we chose we both ended up hurt, broken, felt used and disgusting. I’ve quit the dating scene (Well, I’ve only dated about two boys in my twenty years, so it’s not like it ever even started), and have learned to just let God handle my life. She, on the other hand is still in a relationship with an aweful boyfriend who just hands her broken promises and illusions, and she eats them up. She is a beautiful, charismatic, and absolutely hilarious young twenty year old and she has let some almost thirty year old man with an unstable future have her in the palm of his hand.
I began to share with her my story. My experience with dating. A lot of which people still don’t know truly happened. I literally just posted a few days ago, about how different seasons have a purpose in your life. I never understood how anything positive could ever come out having dated an abusive, cheating, bipolar guy (At the time I dated him, because I learned he is now actually about to attend a Christian college, and become a pastor, glory to God!) Again, how could anything good ever come from this pain?
And it did. Just as my salvation was bought at the price of pain, and death. Through my pain I was able to witness and share the story of my old relationship with my cousin. I know she’s so blindly in love with her boyfriend, but even as I shared my story I could see her softening up. Her eyes were screaming out “SAVE ME!” I know that she just wants out, and I know that by pouring my heart out, something was planted in her.
My story may not make her break up with her boyfriend tonight or ever, and that’s not my place or decision to force, but I do know that she was reminded that she is beautiful, lovely, and loved by the King of Kings. She was reminded she was bought at a price, and that she’s special. It takes a strong person to truly accept that. I have, and my life has never felt so complete. I pray that my cousin, and everyone else, also accept that truth.
Every season has a purpose. :)
— Paul Washer (via martelthechristianrapper)
I just recently came out of a season in my life, about a year ago where I was faced with trials, guilt, decisions, persecution and everything difficult that you could possibly imagine.
Between then and now God has been under full-time construction, more of a “reconstruction” rather, in my heart and throughout my life.
A new season has begun in my life, and it promises tons of love, surprises, and opportunities. Very exciting!
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-15 says,
“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. A time to give birth, and a time to die. A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing. A time to search, and a time to give up as lost. A time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together. A time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate. A time for war, and a time for peace. What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor, it is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. That which is has been already, and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by.”
I believe that there is a time for everything, and this new season is my uprising from what I have been through these past couple of years. I don’t know what His ultimate plan for me is, I don’t know what my final purpose here on earth is, I don’t know if there will be more seasons of “lows” than of “highs” but I will remain faithful and have hope in Him and His word through them all. There was a purpose for my last season, and there will be a purpose for this new time as well. In my heart I feel my season of fruitfulness is here. I am seeing the Holy Spirit move, I am seeing spiritual growth, I am being blessed beyond measure, and so many things that I have been praying for are happening. His timing is perfect.
God’s love is powerful. His love is absolute. His love for you does not change, but can change you. His love has purpose. His love heals all pain. His love overcomes every worry. His love cures every fear. His love is unconditional. His love cannot be compared. His love does not fail.
Our love will never amount to anything like His, but He knows that. We can never outlove God. The beauty is, though, that He is committed to and promises, to love us, to outpour and overflow us with His love, regardless.
I skyped with my grandma today, who had to travel from her small town to the city to get some tests done for her health. Two weeks ago she traveled to Juarez to see her sick younger sister, and the elevator at the hospital got stuck, and she’s a naturally nervous person, so you can imagine what that did to her health.
As soon as my webcam turned on, she lost it and began crying. She started saying how she’s never felt sick in her life, and that she feels as if her time on earth is short. She said that the Skype date might be the last time we saw each other, and July seems too far away.
I’ve never seen my grandma so low, she’s only a handful left of her generation that are still living in her town, and it’s something that keeps replaying in her mind. It breaks my heart seeing someone so important to me sick, and it pains me even more knowing my mom is hurting to see her Momma this way.
I just needed to let this out. I know God has control over all of this, but prayers would be highly appreciated. Prayers for BOTH of my grandparents health, because if one goes…..the other can’t live without ‘em. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, so I also need prayers to be prepared for whatever it is, that will happen.
Xo.
Lord, I understand now why you never gave me what I asked for. I realized that what You had for me, and what I thought was best for me were on completely different levels. I feel shame, and quite a bit of embaressment for being so pushy, anxious, and dumb. I come now with a very humbled and grateful heart, only to say thank You.
Just imagine if I would have gotten what I asked for, look where I would be. But You didn’t allow it. You kept Your promise of only giving me the best, and the best is Your plan, and because of Your will look at where I am now.
I will rejoice, and I declare that greater things are yet to come.
Often times we hear Christians say that they have a “personal relationship with Jesus”, but I think this description of Christianity is quite poor because, first of all, Christ has a personal relationship with both his sheep and the lost (John 3:36) and, more importantly, it…
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I Have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed At.” Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger,” “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
“No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
By Joshua Harris. Orginally published in New Attitude Magazine. Copyright New Attitude, 1995. You have permission to reprint this in any form. We only ask that you include the appropriate copyright byline and do not alter the content.
